Tea etiquette Press Telegram
May 10, 2008

• How to eat a scone: Break off small pieces at a time and add a dollop of topping (cream, jam, butter). "If you cut it in half and slathered the whole thing, some chunk could fall off and you'd get goo all over you," Sperry says. "Etiquette is about preventing accidents."

Ha ha, I do recall the 'goo' comment, though I don't recall saying that etiquette is about preventing accidents. Perhaps in this instance it is indeed; however overall I believe that the purpose of etiquette is to make members of society feel comfortable and confident in any and every social situation and the rules of etiquette give us the tools to do just that.
The point with the eating of scones, as with all bread products, is to break off a small piece and add your spread to that one bite to avoid excessive messiness.

• How to stir your tea: Don't clink. Sperry recommends using figure-8 movements to lightly swish your tea.
  Guilty as quoted. Perhaps the most compelling reason to avoid 'clinking' (aside from the prospect of cup breakage) is that it tends to get on others' nerves. In fact the reason I brought it up in the intrview is because a tea patron made me promise to address the issue of spoon clinking.

• How to hold your cup and saucer: You don't have to lift the saucer at the same time as your cup unless you're sitting far away from the table, in which case, the saucer would catch spills. "It's about being practical, not prim and proper."
  Melissa and I talked at length about the innate practicality of etiquette. When it comes to when and where to lift your saucer the idea is to avoid spilling one's tea on one's clothig or the tea linens. That said, the height and distance of the table come into play in that if one is sitting at a standard dining table the cup is close at hand and may be lifted without the saucer. But if one is seated at a low coffee table it would be advisable to lift the saucer in concert with the cup to avoid 'drips'. If one is standing then the saucer would remain in one hand and the tea cup in the other

• About your elbows ... Believe it or not, it's OK to have them on the table ... sometimes. For example, when you're in between courses and when you're finished with your meal and your food has been removed, elbows are fair game.
  Shocked by this one? Like any social more, etiquette is a fluid changing entity and at present elbows have been given a reprive. If a pair of diners are engaging in an intimate conversation it is very natural to put elbows on the table and lean in to talk privately. But as with all things etiquette practicallity must be considered and it would be impractical to shovel food into the mouth while leaning on an elbow. Again, it could result in mess and spills

• ... And your fingers: Afternoon tea is meant to be a feast of finger foods. However, if something has a "goo factor," it's always best to use a fork, Sperry says.
  Finger foods certainly may be eaten with the fingers - think appetizers passed at a cocktail party. But most tea rooms provide forks for ease of dining

• Lipstick blunders: If you're wearing lipstick, blot it before you drink the tea. Not only does it look funny on the cup, but it can damage very fine china.
  I never thought about lipstick looking 'funny' on a tea cup, but Melissa may have a point. And indeed lipsticks (especially those meant to be permanent) do pose a threat to tea room goods. For example, The Four Seasons Tea Room in Sierra Madre uses fine white linen tea napkins that are hand pressed and starched. Permanent or dark lipsticks can be very difficult to get out of these lovely linens. As for lipstick damaging tea cups, the damage comes not from the make-up, but can come as a result of excessive scrubbing on the part of the dishwashing staff, especially when scrubbing a tea cup lip etched in gold - the gold can actually come off, even on th finest china.

• Got milk: Apparently, there's a big brouhaha over whether you should put milk in before or after you pour the tea. Sperry says before. "When you are dealing with very fine china, you should put the milk in first. Otherwise, if you pour your hot tea in, it's going to crack the cup."
  I personally add milk before my tea... but the Queen of England does so after her cup has been filled. In my opinion it is a matter of personal taste, without right or wrong. I mentioned that if someone is serving in eggshell thin cups it is possible for hot tea to crack a cup, but in this day and age with modern makes of fine china and in our temparate climate this should not be of concern

• Dress code DON'Ts: You do not need to wear a bonnet or a boa when you have tea. "That idea is so American," Sperry says. "You really think the queen of England is wearing a boa when she has tea? I don't think so."
  Uh boy... I was mortified when I read this because frankly it made me sound like a jerk, but i confess I did say it... but here is the intent/context. When Melissa asked if hats and boas were a must I told her 'not at all'. Some people feel that they may not participate in the joys of afternoon tea because they lack these accessories and my point is that afternoon tea is for everyone, not just those who wear hats and boas. I have never seen any of my UK chums wear either while at tea. And no, I don't think it is very likely that the Queen of England dons a feathred wrap while sipping her afternoon cuppa... then again, I could be dead wrong :)
  And being a hat lover from way back I admit I think any excuse is a good excuse to wear a hat!